Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
