Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
