So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you will always have a special place in my vag
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
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One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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