On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
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It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
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Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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