How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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