You can't special order awesome
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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