never play flip cup with pint glasses
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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