I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize