i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize