She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
