I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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