Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
