i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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