Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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