But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
