The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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