Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I wear drunk well.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
