She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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