She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize