Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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