By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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