A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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