Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
