I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
