Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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