I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
