We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
