I need help removing her.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
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you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
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In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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