Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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