How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
