i can't believe i had my finger in that
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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