We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
