Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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