I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
tell me about the eggs
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
