finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
