I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
