Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
