I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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