nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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