I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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