Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
