five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize