Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Randomize