i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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