You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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