was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
