I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
