the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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