When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
