i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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