i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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