I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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