id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
wow bdsm is so cute
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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